Poor gluten, it was on top for so long.
Incredibly, though, it's harder for America to go to war at all.
Certainly, all the countries and holidays haven't been conquered yet. Nouns, like terrorism, still abound.
What is going on?
Well, things haven't gone that well in Afghanistan for the past 14 years or so. And Iraq, well, it was the worst war in American history, which is saying a lot when you consider Vietnam.
The wars on the holidays haven't succeeded that well either. Christmas and Easter still seem to prosper in spite of Fox News' relentless drumbeat to incite faux outrage.
Yet, Columbus Day is now known as Indigenous Peoples' Day or Native American Day in a handful of locales. Oregon, thankfully, doesn't even recognize Columbus Day. Evidently, there aren't that many Italians in the Beaver State.
But, it's clear that many Americans want war, either against Russia, ISIS, undocumented workers or cholesterol.
Even though we spend more on our military-industrial complex than all other major nations combined, we haven't had a decisive victory since World War II.
We also haven't invaded any other country in more than 10 years.
So, what are the choices for our next war?
We haven't bit on a host of opportunities from Libya, Syria, Ukraine, North Korea, Iraq again or the Kardashians.
It's enough to give a warmonger an ulcer.
Call it the war on war itself.
Naturally, President Obama shoulders most of the blame. In an acknowledgement that he needed to show some cojones, Obama recently extended our war in Afghanistan for the next president to end.
Not that it will ever end.
One thing is certain, war is good for defense contractors, the media and undertakers.
It's bad for everyone else.