Friday, May 14, 2010

Palin should just 'gut' her speeches

Is anyone tired of Caribou Barbie, also known as Sarah Palin?

She's had a string of embarrassing comments recently and the press loves a good sideshow.

But, that's all she is: a sideshow. She'll never be the main event because, deep down, she's just a bimbo.

Her every utterance gets national exposure, for now.

Here's what she said about President Obama and guns at an NRA convention: "Don't doubt for a minute that, if they thought they could get away with it, they would ban guns and ban ammunition and gut the Second Amendment."

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a Republican, wants the federal government to ban gun sales to suspected terrorists on the "no-fly list."

Naturally, Palin and the NRA believe that suspected terrorists don't have Miranda rights but they do have gun rights and they should be able to purchase assault weapons in the U.S.

Afterall, if terrorists can't get guns in America, who can?

When Obama nominated Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, Palin had to offer her pearls of wisdom: we should "create law based on the God of the bible and the ten commandments."

Really. That helps a lot. Unfortunately, there is no commandment banning bimbos from the political arena.

Palin, like any decent capitalist, is cashing in on her fame. She has another "book" coming out in November titled America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag.

Here's a preview.

And, of course, she's no longer comparing women to pit bulls but rather to "mama grizzlies":

"You don't want to mess with moms who are rising up," Palin said at the Susan B. Anthony List event. "If you thought pit bulls were tough, you don't want to mess with mama grizzlies."

She'll find out soon enough how it feels to be attacked by a mama grizzly when she announces her bid for the White House.

She knows she has 30 percent of Americans behind her and, to Palin, that seems like a majority. She, and her followers, should take a basic math course because 30 percent gets you nowhere in politics. About 70 percent of Americans don't want her to run for president.

But, she'll sell a ton of America by Heart as she did Going Rogue.

All she really wants is celebrity status and she has it.

Well, the National Enquirer is there to remind her what celebrity life is like. The grocery checkout line will be a little livelier as long as Sarah Palin provides the fodder.

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