Swirling in the eye of Newt

The casual observer wonders if Newt Gingrich should have gone the way of Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee.

In essence, he did the same thing, but with a tad more self-flogging. It's a Muslim thing.

Trump and Huckabee caved in to reality and quit their ridiculous runs for the White House, while Gingrich ignored his muse.

He failed to grasp that his 15 minutes of fame ended more than 10 years ago. Of course, Tiffany jewelers would think otherwise. He owes them about $500,000.

It's convenient to espouse family values when you have a couple of divorces under your belt and some bling around your neck. Or maybe that bling is around his third wife's neck. It's hard to know. Afterall, Newt is a dashing metrosexual.

In any case, Gingrich has no shot at the presidency. What's more pressing is if he still has a chance at Fox News. That's what matters to conservatives: preaching to the choir even if that choir is tone deaf.

It's a shame, really, because there is no better name out there than Newt. Mitt is a bit sissy and Barack, of course, is way too exotic and Islamic. T-Paw, for Tim Pawlenty, is too contrived and Palin rhymes with waling.

But Newt reminds one of Fig Newtons or "eye of Newt," the Shakespeare line from Macbeth that also includes the lines "toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog."

Macbeth includes more lines, of course, but "eye of newt" says it all. Newt tripped on his own shoelaces when he trashed a fellow GOPer's Medicare-killing plan.  He now swirls in the eye of the storm he alone created. Maybe he thinks it won't matter since the rapture is slated for this Saturday.

It's too bad we won't have Newt to kick around for awhile longer, but that's the price of fame. Just when you think you've paid the price, the sales tax kicks in. (Not in Oregon, of course).

So long Newt, we hardly knew ye. I hear Arnold needs a little moral support.